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"The Night Before Christmas" is a lovely poem. I apologize in advance for butchering it all to heck. Thank you for your understanding.
The Month Before Christmas (A Shopping Nightmare)
Seriously deranged... er, rearranged by Celine
Twas the month before Christmas, and all through our home
Lay decorations needing hung, with scattered boxes thrown
Wherever there's room to put them, we just don't care
The holiday rush is on, so no time to spare;
Tags and tape and paper lay strewn on the bed
All the while we slowly go out of our heads
Mother is sitting at her laptop, doing shopping online
So we don't have to stand in long store lines;
There's Barbie, and N*SYNC, and Nintendo and Sony,
On credit cards the debt I'll be forever owing
If they want one, then want 'em all
Oh, please, don't tell me I have to hit the malls;
When Christmas does come, we'll be too pooped to care
All this running around, it's becoming a bear
What's that you say, your shopping is done?
Well, that's nice, but it spoils the so-called fun;
So fill those stockings, with presents 'neath the tree
With CDs and video games and DVDs
Spread your love with some nice material things
But save those receipts, soon the returning begins;
Where would our country's economy be
Without us to go on festive shopping sprees?
So this December my holiday wishes you'll find
Are a merry Christmas to all, and to all a good buy!