We got a Xerox Christmas letter from the Sterling family
Seems that things in Palm Springs are going swimmingly
Their daughters both married doctors, their son was Yale's man of the year
Chip's business broke all records; Buffy's a Red Cross volunteer

We've been on their Xerox letter list twenty years or more
It's been at least that long since the Sterlings lived next door
So this year my wife Lerlene said as we were sweeping up the yard
Lets us send a Xerox letter this year instead of a Christmas card

Howdy y'all and merry Christmas

Well we still live in the double wide, but Bubba's added on
A bass boat shed and a workshop and new flamingos for the lawn
We took down the front yard tire swing now that Junior's in the pen
But it looks like a happy new year they moved him off death row again

Chorus:
Xerox Christmas letters
Whoa, nothing could be better
Then to hear from folks you hardly know
Bragging on all they have achieved
Xerox Christmas letters
Yeah, there's nothing we like better
We read them from the glow
Of our two foot aluminum tree

Our youngest is at the halfway house once again in a family way
This time the daddy lives beneath the bridge on the old I-5 freeway
And this year we all took a whirlwind tour but we didn't get too far
It happened when a twister touched down in our trailer park

Chorus

We read them in the glow
Of our two foot aluminum tree


Reprinted without permission.