I had the strangest thing happen to me today. There I was, innocently using my computer for innocent activities involving the downloading of fan fiction (which are all perfectly innocent, of course... not a sex scene among them. Ha!), when I realized my Palm's cradle wasn't plugged into my computer.

The strange part came when I pulled out my computer so I could get behind it (I'm a supportive kind of gal), which then led to my having to clean up the papers sitting in the way, which then led to trying to figure out which of the approximately 19 thousand cords on my desk and nearby go to the cradle, which then led my actually having to clean part of my desk, which then led to a revelation: my desk is a lovely fake wood color.

Now, one might assume I would already know this. I do... or, rather, I did, once upon a time, when the earth was young and my desk was new. But that was some time ago, and life goes on. And in my life, I seem to have gathered quite a few miscellaneous papers, CD-Rs, Post-It notes, batteries, a cup, a spoon from regions unknown, SpongeBob SquarePants stickers, various M&M creatures, various computer-related items (some of which I have no clue as to their function), remotes, CDs, Lego's, a replacement face shield for my scooter helmet, a picture of a panda bear, photo paper, a Vince Gill autograph, a stereo (presently playing Jann Arden), some left-over candy from Halloween a friend gave me but I didn't like so I didn't eat it but I didn't have the heart to throw it away, a semi-functioning VCR, pens, toenail clippers, a bag of buttons/pins from my collection but for some reason is separately from the collection and is just sitting my desk, a drink coaster I never use because I can never find it -- in fact, I'm only guessing it's still on my desk, a Boba Fett spaceship action figure my mother unearthed a while back (it was my brother's when he a young lad), a gamepad, a digital camera, a power strip, a DVD player, a few DVDs, speakers, hand lotion, a lamp without a light bulb, a bag of Wint-O-Green LifeSavers I bought but didn't really care for but haven't given them to someone else yet, a computer, a trackball, a monitor, a screwdriver, thumb tacks, Tums, a recently rediscovered sheet of bubble wrap, and a sticker which says "I love to bitch."

That doesn't include what's in the drawers and cupboards. I'm afraid to look in those.

Or, Heaven forbid, the stuff which has fallen behind my desk and is presently lodged between the desk and the wall and shall thus remain there forever because my desk is a corner shape and is quite heavy and awkward and takes at least three people of moderate strength and dexterity to move it.

I also have some face lotion which specifically says it is "day lotion." I have been very careful to avoid using it at night, as I do not want to know what happens if I do. It could be a "Gremlins" thing, and frankly, I don't have enough kitchen appliances to take care of the results. (If you don't understand the reference, rent the movie. Thank you.)

The rediscovery of my desk color has brought forth a dilemma I am unsure how to solve. I could finish cleaning off my desk (putting the contents who knows where.... an alternate dimension, perhaps?) so I can admire the desk in its full fake wood glory. It sounds like a good, solid idea. But I also know me, which is what leads to my hesitation, because I know, deep down, it will be a mess again in short order, should I deign to clean it now.

So I could clean it with the false pretense of keeping it that way, or I could just be honest with myself and leave it the way it is. Decisions, decisions. Be self deluded but briefly more organized, or honest and a mess (the desk that is... I think)?

I won't even begin to mention what the rest of the room looks like. Let's just say my motto is "I'm not messy, I'm creative" and leave it at that.

Now, if you'll excuse me I have to stare at the clean spot on my desk while I make my important decision -- to clean or not to clean. This could take days or even weeks, so if you don't hear from me for a bit, you'll know my brain is hard at work, pondering the pro's and con's of this potentially life altering matter. Right now, I'm leaning towards self delusion, but I can make no definitive statements on this matter until it has been thoroughly pondered.

It beats actually doing the cleaning, at any rate. I'd do anything to avoid that. Heck, I spent the last hour or so rambling about it, for goodness sake. I could probably have cleaned the darn thing four or five times by now. But where's the fun in that?