I've decided, after much thought, to just give up sleeping. It's pointless, really, when one lives in this house. I have nine little and not-so-little beings set firmly against it.

This morning I was woken up at 5:30am -- and let me stress here I am not a morning person -- by two dogs needing to go outside. That turned into having to feed four cats, a guinea pig, and two of the four dogs. By the time all that had happened, I was beyond being able to go back to sleep.

So, here I sit at 6:30am, with a dog sitting next to me, and other who keeps insisting it's play time and breakfast time, complete with whining and bouncing all over the house. She's one of the two who got me up in the first place.

And Tango the Wonder Kitty... oh, that boy. He's been very... well, very him lately. He's left no potential toy left un-played with, and no moment to be cuddled left un-cuddled. It's to the point where I can't even go to the bathroom without him in there, climbing all over my chest, purring his fool head off, moving from position to position and staring at me from point blank range. It's a bit disconcerting.

My typical work day at the computer consists of the following process:

• Tango climbs up on top of the printer, which sits to my left and slightly behind me, and stares at me.
  
• Tango climbs up on the stereo, which sits next to the printer and is to my direct left, and stares at me.
  
• Tango climbs up on my monitor, which of course is right in front of me, and dangles his tail over the front of it so I can't see anything, and stares at me.
  
• I move his tail so it's situated on top of the monitor.
  
• Tango, after about 30 seconds, moves his tail back down in front.
  
• I move his tail back so it's situated on top of the monitor. Tango accepts this, as he knows a greater prize is to be had. He watches and waits.
  
• If I make even the slightest indication I might be leaning back, he moves in for the kill, and climbs up on my chest before I have the chance to register what's happening, curling up in nanoseconds, purring his fool head off. He knows I won't be able to tell him no if he purrs.
  
• After several minutes of cuddling, I decide I really have to get back to work, and I set Tango on my bed.
  
• Tango lays on my bed for approximately two minutes.
  
• Repeat process.

So I'm giving up sleeping. Even when I do manage to sneak a few hours in, I usually end up with two cats - Tango and Butler - fighting (literally, though they don't hurt each other... it's mainly hissing and the occasional swatting) for the coveted position of getting to sleep on my legs. Tango usually wins, so Butler ends up getting up in my face and batting at my nose until I pet him.

I love my animals, but they really drive me crazy. I'm still confused how I ended up with so many, anyway. It's wasn't intentional. But here they are, and despite how they might serve to diminish my already tenuous grasp on sanity, I love all of them.

Okay, maybe that proves my sanity has already left the building. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go pet/feed/let outside/feed/let inside/feed/cuddle with/feed/pick up after one or more animals.

If you see my sleep, tell it I said hi.