And now, the artistic portion of our program...

Ode To Broken Appliances and Things
By Celine the Rambling Queen

What has broken in my house? Let me count the things:

There was the dishwasher, once steadfast and true
Until the cats and dogs broke its door, oh and hinges too
Even the plunger developed a crack
It's far too late to take it back
So I had to buy one completely brand new

We had a dryer, once full of warmth and spin
Now it's only fit to rot and rust in the garbage bin
Now my mother's waterbed
Sprung a leak and now it's dead
So, of course, she now has no bed to sleep tight in

We can't forget the keyboard to her laptop
Once was working, now it's a big flop
I don't want to know what's next
Because this all has me vexed
And my small budget, it surely did it chop

So I will let you know what I did decide
Which is to run far, far so away I can hide
From whatever will break
I just don't need the headache
To tell you the truth, my brain is quite fried!

So that's been my life, as of late. The waterbed is still under warranty, so at least that isn't so bad... though getting it to the store where it was bought (in another town) and replaced has yet to occur. A king-sized waterbed mattress, even void of water, just isn't gonna fit on my scooter.

Having all these things break just before Christmas has kinda put a strain on my already quite strained finances. Do you think I could get away with giving broken items to my family members as gifts? "A cracked dishwasher which won't close! It's what I've always wanted!!" I'll be so popular at the family gathering this year.

I'm off to go mail some things I've sold to try to pay for all this (okay, a small portion of this), so I best sign off. Take care this holiday season, friends, and do try to stay free of any breakage, won't you? I'd hate to think my readers were broken, too. Cracked, yes, but not broken.